i dont think at the moment that i can love anybody. i just want to be loved.

wuahahhaha! i jsut watched 2 days non stop NANA (it's an anime) and i cannot belive that it is ending all bad! why does it have to be realistic?! couldnt they write a warning in the description of the anime? i mean honestly, live is already hard enought, you could cut a little slack and let at least have the anime people have a happy ending! i feel so down...the one nana loves this guy, but is together with the other, who dies in an car accident, but she and the guy she actually loves will not come together because he is first the friend of the guy who dies, and then the other nana (there are 2 in the anime) comes to tokyo because of her boyfriend, and he cheats on her, and then she is seduced by the "not good for anything but making money" music idol guy, and then she breaks it up, gets together with her real love, but ends up knocked up and marrys the rich music guy because her real love is to unsure what to do, but she needs the money to raise a child...and now she is married to a playboy who cheats on her! ahahhahahha! why cannot at least one of the person in this anime end up happy?!?! and i did not even mention the one guy who is 15 and prostituets himself because he has no home because her mother killed herself after he was born because he was not the son of her husband....and now he belives that he will never find somebody who loves him ...this is to real for me. and now dont you people make fun of me cause i'm so depressed about an anime...i did not speak since 6 days to any living person (mmm...in which movie is this boy who says "i can see dead people"...?), beacuse i'm stuck with my books for my bachelor thesis......if you now roll your eyes at me, you are not better than those pople who make jokes about other people when they are sad because their pet died! be a bit empathetic!

my stalker contacted me

The village my parents live in, Ellefeld (which is still my principal residence...although i live 5 days a week in Nürnberg) celebrated it's 550 founding year on sunday. While Ellefld is only inhabited by...i guess 2500 jolly old souls, there had to be a week of celebrations, ghastful flok musik and of cause a real big pageant...with over 250 participating people. As part of the methodist brass band i sat on a truck and drove around the village (and i did feel a bit silly, being gawked on for 1 hour).

it was really cold for autumn...and it started to snow the next day.

So i also went to ikea to buy some now bookshelves for all the books i bought already this year. since the bookshelves were a bit bigger than i thought, my couch is now standing in the missle of the room...it's a bit cramped now, but i still like it.

Yesterday was a good day, i felt quite pretty, so i went shopping. this is the result of the hunt: (kind of fancy clothes...but hey, i'm gonne turn 24 in february...i need to dress more mature!)

And now some thing which is on my mind a lot, and i dont know what to do : my stalker contacted me. for those of you who dont know: when i did my internship in canada (6 months in 2007/08) i had a stalker. it was is the son of my employee, and he has some mental disorder and needs to take medicine because of it. The problem was that in canada, i lived with the kids in the youth centre, far away from civilization, and i did not have a car. the village was very small, so people knew about each other a lot. so the son of my employee was quite in the power position, since he had a car (my only way to "get out" of there...the wor was not easy) and he also was able to check my email (he was quite skilled with the computer) and so on...he always knew where i was, whom i had been talking to, and so on.He loved to play mind games...for example if i needed a lift to the supermarked, i had to beg him to drive me, or he wanted something in exchange). he was actually a nice guy, but his stalking was a bit to much...he did not understand that i just wanted to be friends. anyways, he contacted me 2 days ago via email (i dont know how he got mine) asking to be friends again on facebok...yadayada (after i wnt back to germany i cut all ties to him)...so now i dont know what to do...be friend with him (he is far away and maybe got over his crush) or should i not reply?!?! what do you people think?

I can make stuff magically disappear, especially if it's got a lot of butter & sugar in it!

i went from the 20th to the 26th of september to...hungary. It was a study trip with my colleagues from my geronto course. so we went by train to budapest, and i was real exited cause my mom had been in september 74' in budapest too!
Behold: now millions of pictures!


thats my mom in 74'...she has been 15 at that time.

yaiii! i went to the same places she went....the heroes plaza

the view from the Fischerbastei to the donau

hungay's underground is the oldest on the continent

i couldn't help myself ;P

view of the castle

some famous church

if you and your love put together a lock with your names there, and throw the key in the donau, you will be together forever....or so they say.

ou very strange guide had a really bad cold. he was strange cause he talked down the hungarian people and what they arcived all the time, caled the losers and such...and he compeared statues to mens body parts and invited us to touch them to get "skills"....he also said we should pronounce budapest like "buddddaaaaapescht".....really strange...but for free!

the elisabeth bridge...built by some scottish architect

the donau seperates buda from pest

our little group, from left to right: sabrina, ingrid, me, christina and anna

some famous marked in budapest...quite the tourist place...with german folk music

the Fisherbastei

the church next to the Fishernbastei had 4 different names...needless to say i dont remember one of them...but we got a great tour in german from a nice old lady and the curch is really nice...painted in the inside and with a colorful roof.

the parliament...the hungarys really liked to copy the english style :)

the inner city

debriefing on the floor in a very "social student" manner

after one day in budapest we drove with the bus (we had to change several times...great if you dont speak the country language and nobody speaks english in the countryside) to some village in the middle of nowere in hungary and visited a home foe elderly people.

the home for elderly people had also a vineyard. so we got a wine taste in the cellar...

after our visit in the village in nowere, we went to the balaton, and this is the place were we stayed for our meeting. we went to this meeting, not really knowing what it was. it turned out to be a intercommunication meeting between hungarian and german evangelic social workers. it was interesting...but we also felt like we didnt belong there. our proffesor just applyed for us to go there, so we did, but the problem was: 1 we were no social workers yet, and the people there were in leading positions 2 not all of us were christians and 3 we did not know a lot about this particular evangelic social work. we had to listen to the speeches from 9 in the morning to 7 in the evening, with just breaks to eat....it was defenitely not a holiday.

the embaressing thing was that some of the students i went with were really bored by the speeches and courses...so they just started to drink some heavy hungarian wine...and behaved real bad. it was so embarassing, cause the hungarian church payed for our stay there, and we represented german students, and some gave not a good imperession. i thought, even if we are at the wrong place, and cannot identify with the subject of the speeches, we should give a good example of a german student, and endure the boring days.

this is a collage-card i made for our guide from our university in germany, she stayed with us for the one day in budapest.

this was some famous wood church were we had a service and the lord's supper....a mighty strange church. as i understood, the architect wanted to take some themes from the hungarian ancesters ( some nature religion) and connect the with some christian symbols.

after we visited the church we went again to wine tasting...did i tell you guys that i dont like wine. right! but out of politeness i drunk it...iiik. and after that we did some hungarian dances...the next day we went back home (took us the while day) and some people and quite a hang-over :P ...my muskles arched from to much dancing.

somebody in budapest had a Hitsugaya Toshiro bag....kawaii! (bleach is one of my fav anime!!!)